By Heather Backman

The Law of Relativity states, “nothing we experience is fundamentally good or bad.”
Experience, by itself, is neutral. We are the ones who attach meaning to it—often influenced by our past, our beliefs, and our personal perspective.

When I first learned this concept, it completely shifted how I viewed life. I realized that so many things I labeled as “bad” were only that way because I had decided they were. I didn’t look deeper. I didn’t ask questions or consider other possibilities—I just accepted my perception as truth. And that kept me stuck.

Now, when something starts to feel negative, I pause. I take a step back and ask myself: Is this actually bad, or am I just choosing to see it that way? That moment of awareness often changes everything. I feel calmer, clearer, and far more capable of handling whatever comes my way.

I remember when this concept really hit home for me. I was 50 pounds overweight and my health had started to decline. I went to the doctor, and she explained that I had developed an autoimmune condition. She prescribed medication, and when I picked up those orange bottles with the white lids, I came home and just sat on my bed—overwhelmed, frustrated, and ashamed that I had “let myself get here.”

But then something shifted.

I realized I had a choice. I could keep seeing this as a defeat—or I could choose to see it as a wake-up call, maybe even a lifeline. Maybe this diagnosis was the very thing that would finally help me reach the goals I’d always had—to feel fit, healthy, and energized. Up until that point, I hadn’t had a strong enough reason to change. I loved sugar, carbs, and dairy. Being overweight hadn’t been enough for me to give up my donuts, cookies, pastas, or ice cream.

But now, faced with the reality of a health crisis, I chose to see this as an opportunity.

I completely changed my lifestyle. I overhauled my diet—cutting out gluten, dairy, and sugar, which had always been my biggest weaknesses. I started taking supplements, moving my body more, and committing to long-term health. And after several months of dedication, I lost 30 pounds and put my autoimmune condition into remission!

That moment of reframing—choosing to see the experience in a different light—literally saved my life. And to this day, I still don’t eat gluten, dairy, or sugar. That diagnosis wasn’t the end of my health—it was the beginning of my healing.

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