By Cosette Snarr

My husband suffered from epilepsy—uncontrolled seizures—which made life incredibly difficult, to say the least. To make matters worse, I carried a deep resentment about the whole situation. Instead of trying to make the best of it, I spent years complaining. It’s hard to admit, but I was critical, short-tempered, and constantly searching for a way out—even though I knew leaving him was never an option.

After years of trying to “fix” him, I finally realized I needed something for me—something that would take my focus off his condition and give me some happiness of my own. I did some research and decided to become a life coach. I dove in—attending seminars, reading books, getting certified, and applying every tip and tool I could find for creating success.

But it didn’t work. I couldn’t understand why.

So I doubled down—more seminars, more certifications. Still nothing.

I started to wonder, What is wrong with me? I was doing everything I was told to do, everything I thought would make me happy—and I still felt stuck. On top of that, things with my husband were worse than ever.

Eventually, in total desperation, I turned to the Lord and told Him I couldn’t live like this anymore. I was still committed to my marriage, but I couldn’t keep white-knuckling my way through it. I needed to find a way to stay—with grace, not a clenched jaw.

That’s when I felt inspired to start working on creative projects with my husband—specifically refinishing furniture. As much as I had struggled with our relationship, I had to admit: we worked well together. The idea of doing something hands-on and artistic appealed to me, so we signed up for a class, bought a few supplies, and dove in.

To my complete surprise, everything started to shift.

Very quickly, my attitude toward him began to change—dramatically. It felt like I was falling in love with him all over again. I actually looked forward to him coming home in the evenings. We’d browse for furniture pieces together, brainstorm ideas, and celebrate our finished projects. I found joy in our conversations, excitement in our shared goals, and pride in what we created.

I also found myself focusing less on his seizures and more on all the good things he brought into our life.

Here’s where it gets even more surprising: after 30 years of living with seizures, my husband’s seizures stopped within six months of that internal shift. And he hasn’t had a single one in over six years.

Now, I can’t say for certain that changing my vibration caused the seizures to stop—but I know it changed me. And that change would’ve been enough. I reached a point where, even if his condition had stayed the same, I truly would’ve been okay.

Looking back, I finally understand why none of my earlier coaching efforts worked. I was doing all the “right” things on the surface, but underneath it all, my thoughts were still rooted in misery and frustration. And those are the thoughts that carried the most weight.

Now? My marriage is better than it’s been in decades. Our finances are better, too—not because I built a wildly successful business, but because I changed my mindset.

Our lives truly are a reflection of our thoughts.