By Cosette Snarr

I married the man of my dreams. He was handsome, kind, funny, and always willing to lend a hand around the house. As we welcomed four children into our lives, my joy only grew. Together, we tackled the everyday challenges of parenting and managing finances. Life was good. Then everything changed.

Out of nowhere, my husband began having seizures. Watching them was terrifying, but even more frightening were the long-term effects. Between the medications and whatever was happening in his brain, his personality began to disappear. He became a shell of the man I’d married—unresponsive, disengaged from me and the kids. He couldn’t hold a job. He withdrew from all family decisions. And worst of all, he seemed unaware of how deeply this affected us.

At first, I went into problem-solving mode. I’d always been strong. I’d faced hard things before, so I thought I could fix this too. But over time, I came to realize this wasn’t something that could simply be fixed. The weight of it all turned into anger—toward him, and even toward God. I couldn’t understand why I was being punished. I’d had such a good life—how could it all turn so wrong? I felt like the victim of a cosmic bait-and-switch.

For years, I sat in that resentment. I replayed the question: What did I do to deserve this? I clung to the belief that everything happens for a reason, but I couldn’t see a single good thing that had come from my husband’s condition. I pleaded with God to take the burden from me, but my prayers felt like they bounced off the ceiling.

Fast forward to today—and everything looks different.

Now, I see that those painful years were the greatest gift I never asked for. But that clarity only came once I stopped clinging to the idea that a “good life” had to look a certain way. After all, how could something like uncontrolled seizures be anything but bad?

But here’s the truth: God used my husband’s disability to teach me something I never would’ve learned otherwise—to trust Him. When life was smooth, I didn’t need to lean on anyone. Everything felt perfect when we first got married. But if my husband hadn’t, in many ways, been taken out of the picture, I may never have turned fully to God. I wouldn’t have known—not deeply—that He loves me and wants what’s best for me.

That lesson came only when I was willing to shift my perspective.

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