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Is Your Life Good Or Bad? It's All Relative

guest posts law of relativity overcoming adversity Jul 17, 2008

By Denise Webster

I try to look at situations in my life through the lens of the Law of Relativity. This law states: "Your situation is not fundamentally good or bad until you compare it to something else." It’s especially helpful during emotional moments. When you can step back, take the emotion out of it, and compare your experience to something more difficult, it brings instant perspective—and often, instant gratitude.

A recent experience showed me just how powerful this law really is.

I was in charge of Girls Camp for my church—a four-day camp for young women ages 12 to 18. Several other groups were there as well, but we each had our own campsites and did our own meals and sleeping arrangements. It’s always a busy, beautiful, spirit-filled week.

This year, I had a very diverse group of girls. Some came from very wealthy homes, others from families that were barely getting by. One girl’s parents were divorced. Another had lost her mom in a tragic accident, though she hadn’t lived with her since she was two due to her mother’s drug addiction. There were girls carrying deep, personal wounds—and it showed up in quiet ways throughout camp.

One girl from a wealthy family was battling anorexia. Another was living in a chaotic multigenerational home where yelling was the norm. She couldn’t read beyond an early elementary level and often seemed lost in the shuffle. Each girl carried something heavy.

The first few days of camp were hard. The girls naturally gravitated toward their usual groups and cliques. Some felt out of place. We heard things like “I don’t fit in,” or “I’m too tall,” or “I’m too short,” or “My hair’s all wrong.” Others were discouraged because they didn’t play sports or couldn’t dance. All these worries about identity and self-worth came bubbling to the surface.

As leaders, we wanted so badly to help them see what we saw—that each one of them was beautiful, strong, and beloved. I even found myself wishing I could sit them down and say, “Do you know what she’s going through?” But of course, that wasn’t possible—we had to honor confidences. So instead, we leaned into the Law of Relativity. We planned a few activities centered around self-worth and divine identity. We tried to help them see their own value—not in comparison to each other, but in their connection to God.

Then Friday night came. That night, we held our traditional “testimony meeting,” a sacred space where the girls could share whatever was on their hearts.

And that’s when something incredible happened.

One by one, the girls began to open up. They shared stories—deep, raw, and often heart-wrenching. As they spoke, something shifted. The room changed. The walls came down. The Law of Relativity unfolded right in front of us. The girls began to realize that their own insecurities and struggles, while real, were often small compared to what others were carrying. And instead of feeling ashamed or defensive, they responded with compassion. They reached out. They lifted one another. They saw each other with new eyes.

It was one of the most powerful nights of my life. I watched these young women transform—not because their circumstances changed, but because their perspective did. And that’s the essence of the Law of Relativity.

This principle shows up everywhere. If you’re unhappy with your home, it’s usually because you’re comparing it to something bigger or flashier. But think of someone living in a cardboard shelter on the streets of a third-world country—and suddenly, you feel rich. Just like that.

It’s not just about stuff—it applies to people, too.

One day, I found myself mentally grumbling about my husband. Then I walked past the TV and caught part of a daytime talk show. The women on the screen were saying things like, “I just wish my husband loved me,” and “I wish he wanted to be around the kids.” I stopped in my tracks. It hit me: they were yearning for exactly what I had. And here I was, overlooking it. That moment changed something in me. I started to see my husband more clearly—for the good man, father, and partner he truly was. Our relationship has only gotten better since. All it took was a shift in thinking—a real-time lesson from the Law of Relativity.

No matter what struggle you're facing, you can find something good in it. Apply the Law of Relativity, and your outlook will change. You'll feel more grounded, more grateful, and more blessed than you realized.

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