Parenting Transformation Journey – Page 17
(click here for page 1)

All day yesterday, my 11-year-old son was hoping I’d find time to take him fishing. I had already picked up some hooks and bait the day before using money he gave me, and he could hardly wait to try them out.

But the day got away from me. A business task I expected to wrap up by 10 a.m. dragged on until 5:30. And by then, his older brother was already next in line for my time—he needed a shopping trip.

Around 2 or 3 o’clock, my little fisherman asked again if we could go, and I finally had to be honest with him:

“I need you to be okay if this doesn’t work out. I would much rather be fishing than doing business, believe me. But this is a promise I need to keep, and if I’m worried about how you’re feeling, I’m going to be stressed, and it will be harder for me to think. Are you going to be okay if we don’t go today?”

He said, “I’ll be okay if we don’t go today.”

Then I turned to his little sisters and asked, “What about you girls? I need to know if you’ll be okay too. If I’m not worried about you, I’ll be able to work faster.”

They both replied, “We’ll be okay if we don’t go today.”

They were disappointed, of course, but also supportive. Talking it through with them like that was my way of pre-teaching—helping them process a “no” calmly. I was proud of how they handled it.

It reminded me of earlier days, when I was deep in the hustle of building my business full-time. I’d say things like that, too, but back then my follow-through was often a token effort—something to check off the list so I could justify going back to work. I always claimed to value family time, but if I’m being honest, my actions didn’t reflect that.

Breaking out of that cycle took a total emotional collapse. But that breakdown forced a reboot and led me onto a path toward a more aligned and congruent life. I'm so grateful it happened.

I truly don’t mean to diminish my work, because I know it was important and necessary for me to do at the time. But I’m just grateful that the joys I’m finding now in full-time motherhood are even deeper and longer lasting. When I receive emails from readers that describe what my books or materials have done for them, I’m super happy and I feel tremendous fulfillment and gratification that all of those hours, and the blood, sweat and tears were not for nothing. Like this one:

Hi Leslie 🙂  First of all, I can’t tell you how much your book [Portal to Genius] has changed my life.  I know you hear this all the time, but I still have to say it.  I have been an executive business coach for many years and … I have read every self-help, motivation, inspiration, sales book, etc…on the market and have been a reader of this type of material since I was about 25 years old.  I am now almost 45. 🙂  I have even held seminars, workshops, training sessions, etc…about the power of the mind and “change.”  I have trained groups as small as 3 and as large as 4,000…and NEVER have I felt the way I do right now…since I read your book just 4 weeks ago!  I can’t thank you enough!  In fact, my husband & I had been writing our own book for the past 2 years, never that thrilled with the content, but desiring to finish it because we know we can help people with their health.  As soon as I read Portal [to Genius], I gave it to my hubby, he read it the next weekend, and we’ve have been writin’ fools ever since.  The writer’s block has ended and we can’t stop…the ideas just keep comin’!!!  I have referred your book to a total of eight people now and I would say half of them have reported back to me, concurring with my sentiment! Nicole K., Ph D

Messages like that make me so happy. But as much as I LOVE them (and I really do!), that thrill fades quickly. Life keeps moving.

On the other hand, when I participate in helping one of my own children have a major breakthrough (which, interestingly enough is rarely of the variety that my business is even about), my gratification is pure joy, and I literally relish in it for days. I’ll sometimes even fall asleep rehearsing the victory and how it played out for several nights in a row. Even months and years later, I know that those are the breakthroughs that I will remember the most, and in which I will take the most pride.

Sometimes, they don’t even know they’ve grown.

Like the time my son missed a work shift due to a miscommunication. When he got the “Aren’t you coming in?” text, he panicked. It was his first job. He’d only been there a week, and the anxiety hit hard. We raced out the door—seven hours late—and he kept saying, “How can this POSSIBLY be good??”

I didn’t have an answer. I just knew that somehow, it would be. Maybe it was better to learn this kind of lesson now, with a first job, rather than later during a high-stakes career.

He was terrified that everyone would hate him. That he’d let the whole team down. I tried to stay calm for both of us and kept praying that something good would come from it.

When I picked him up later that night, he was practically glowing. His co-workers had been understanding. The schedule hadn’t been publicly posted, so most people didn’t even know he’d been missing. And because he worked the evening shift instead, he ended up helping with a couple of unexpected emergencies—earning praise from his supervisor for showing up at all instead of bailing.

He faced his fear, pushed through it, and came out stronger. He gained confidence, communication skills, and proof that sometimes even a disaster has a hidden blessing. I watched him grow two years in a single day—and that gave me joy.

Back to the fishing story…

I finally wrapped up work without guilt, knowing I’d cleared the rest of the day to be present. I was genuinely ready to unplug.

After taking my 18-year-old to work at 7:30 a.m.—then circling back to bring his forgotten name tag (I managed to stay a solid 8 on the calmness scale)—I called the fishing preserve. They had been open since dawn. I smiled, excited to surprise the youngest three: “Let’s go now!”

My 11-year-old was thrilled. He’s caught plenty of fish in our backyard lake (mostly catfish, all catch-and-release), but this other spot was special. It had a variety of fish—trout, his favorite—and we could actually bring them home to eat.

As we walked through the brush, I felt the heat—effectively 97 degrees—but surprisingly, I wasn’t in a rush. I had nowhere else to be. My mind wasn’t running through to-do lists. Two years ago, that wouldn’t have been possible.

A parenting mentor (Matt Reichmann) once told me: “If you want more power as a parent, play with your kids.” I never forgot that. And I’ve found it to be true—when I play more, I correct less. Their emotional buckets stay full, and they just behave better.

I also thought of that simple but profound video clip that says:

“Children aren’t something you collect because they’re cuter than stamps. [Mothering is] not something you do if you can squeeze it in—it’s what God gave you time… for.”

And if you’re thinking, “Yeah, that sounds nice, but my life is too stressful for that…”—believe me, I used to think that, too.

But here’s what I learned: when I was finally ready to live differently, I had to let go. Let go of what others might think. Let go of needing a certain lifestyle. I had to be willing to sacrifice to claim something better.

We downsized. Sold extra cars. Shifted our priorities. I don’t get my nails done anymore. My kids work for what they want. If it’s a choice between paint for the car or investing in their education—we choose education.

I’ve learned that we really can have anything we want, but everything requires effort. The question is: what are we working for?

What I wanted most was a peaceful home and strong family bonds. So that’s where I give my best now. It still takes time and sacrifice. I still say “no” to tempting business opportunities. But nothing else has been this rewarding.

And the wild thing? After about a year and a half of letting go, the business started growing on its own. Other blessings started showing up, too. The more peace I felt, the more abundance flowed into our lives.

There are still tough moments, but choosing calm and trusting God has consistently turned challenges into blessings—or at least softened the blow. One way or another, we’ve always been okay.

Stay calm, be still (in your heart), and think of God as a loving Father who will take care of you. Trust Him with your life.

No, it’s not easy to raise a family, and it’s not easy keeping Mom home from work if that’s what the goal is. But it’s possible if you want it. Opportunities will come to those who work tenaciously toward their worthy ideal, whatever it is. I promise you that. The answers may not come when you want them to, but God is never late.