Grumpy spouse? No worries.

The question comes up time and again: How much do our thoughts influence a situation, especially if our spouse’s thoughts don’t align with our own? If we shouldn’t manipulate another person’s freedom to choose, how does this dynamic work in a marriage when both partners aren’t on the same page?

Some people have a natural gift for strong faith, while others struggle to develop it. If faith comes more easily to you than to your spouse, your role may be to encourage, inspire, and exercise patience.

Your challenge? Demonstrating faith despite your spouse’s doubts. Growth happens for both of you—just in different ways. Even those with strong faith will be tested, just through different challenges.

Positive, faithful thoughts are significantly more powerful than negative ones.

Your spouse’s doubts won’t derail your beliefs—unless you allow worry to take over. So choose to believe. As long as you maintain peaceful expectancy for what you seek, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

That said, in your marriage, keep that peaceful expectancy for success—without becoming manipulative.

In other words, if you keep expecting your spouse to change, stop it.

"People don't resist change; they resist BEING changed." — Bob Proctor

Instead of fixating on what you wish would change, imagine your relationship already happy. Feel the relief and gratitude as if things were already better. As your thoughts shift from criticism and impatience to joy and peace, the entire atmosphere at home will improve—and, like a rising tide, lift all ships.

When you focus on feeling the way you want your home to feel, you'll naturally be inspired with ideas on how you can help it move in that direction. And don’t be surprised if one of those inspirations is to relax a little and stop trying so hard to fix everything. Ironically, that’s often the first (and hardest) step toward true change.

Related: The Hardest Thing I've Ever Tried to Write

Your vision won’t force your spouse to change—nor should it.

However, your mindset can create a positive energy in your home that naturally encourages growth, in a gradual and organic way. Choosing faithful thoughts can help your spouse feel more hopeful. When hope enters, possibilities open up, by the law of perpetual transmutation.

If you’re worried about your spouse’s job, ask yourself why it needs to be better. Because often, what you really want isn’t just a job change—it’s security, freedom, or fulfillment. And those things can come in unexpected ways. The job itself might improve, a new opportunity could appear, or a solution you never considered may emerge.

Your thoughts do have power to attract opportunities—but your spouse still has the freedom to decide whether to act on them. So, bottom line: focus on your vision for life, and at the same time, release expectations on your spouse.

Oh, the mental gymnastics!

Consider asking your spouse if they mind you picturing better opportunities on their behalf. You might be surprised—they may be more open to it than you think. And if they see these principles working in your life, they may start testing them for themselves. The most powerful outcome? Working together toward a common goal.

And don’t forget: abundance can come in ways beyond a higher income. Trades, gifts, unexpected windfalls—keep an open mind. As Wallace Wattles said, you “image” the thing, and the universe finds the most efficient way to deliver it. Don’t block possibilities by insisting on how it must happen. Daydream freely, and at the same time, relax about the process.

Above all, choose gratitude—no matter how things unfold. Gratitude qualifies you for the best possible outcome.

If your spouse doesn’t respond the way you hope, be grateful anyway. Trust that God is leading both of you through the lessons meant for you, in the right time and way. Count it all as a blessing.

In Summary...

How to blow it:
Visualize what you want, then wait for your spouse to make it happen. (This leads to frustration, negative energy, and repels what you want.) Measuring your spouse’s actions against your expectations will drive you both crazy. Your belief cannot be dependent on their actions.

How to succeed:
Picture what you want, see abundance in your mind, enjoy the daydream—then take the actions that come to you. Trust God to guide you toward the right steps at the right time. You can thrive while staying true to your values. And sometimes, you’ll even feel led to wait before taking action. Trust those peaceful impressions, even when they seem illogical.

Knowledge dispels fear and doubt. The more you understand these principles, the more powerfully you can apply them.

Now, take a deep breath, focus on your vision, and let go of what isn’t yours to control.

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•   To discover how to start choosing more effectively now, read The Jackrabbit Factor (FREE!)  
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