If you're married and working toward a goal, living the principles can be especially challenging—because deep down, you have expectations of what your spouse should be doing.

Heck, it’s hard enough trying to meet your own expectations of what you should be doing!

At one point, I had to accept that I was in another one of those “temporary seasons of imbalance” and decided to just push through. My husband agreed. Instead of getting frustrated over the gaps, he stepped in and filled them wherever he could.

What an example. I’ve often struggled to offer him that same kind of support in return.

He and I move through life at different speeds. I’m a sprinter; he’s a distance runner. I burn out; he steadily plugs along. As a result, many of our goal-setting efforts have ended in shipwreck.

I've thought about this a lot because it's a challenge many couples face. I've seen relationships crumble under the weight of these differences. Sometimes, it’s a wonder we’ve made it through those times with our marriage intact.

Marriage requires constant adjustments. It may even require unplanned course changes, which is why it’s so important to set your priorities early—with clarity and resolve.

I’ve let go of goals that threatened my top priority: my marriage covenant. My husband has done the same. I’m not saying that’s good, bad, or indifferent—it’s just that when your values and priorities are firmly in place, sacrifices and disappointments can be handled with greater peace.

(Of course, some marriages do need to end. But that’s a topic for another day.)

Marriage also requires patience and an understanding of life’s natural rhythms.

Most of the time, one of us was up while the other was down. Or vice versa.

That’s life.

Even if you and your spouse are both working hard to apply the laws of success, you'll do so at different paces and in different ways.

When you're thriving, your spouse may struggle. When your spouse is excelling, you may struggle. So how do you succeed as a couple when you can’t seem to be in sync?

Count it a blessing if this describes your relationship. The Law of Rhythm reminds us that life is cyclical—we’ll have high points and low points. When you're in an up season, take advantage of it! Get things done.

When you're in a down season, allow it to serve its purpose (as described in Hidden Treasures) and trust that your next up is on its way.

Don’t get discouraged when you and your spouse can’t seem to take giant leaps forward together. It’s a good thing you're on different tracks. If you both crashed at the same time, who would be there to pick up the pieces?

Instead, find joy in saying, “It’s okay—you can have a down day. I’ll carry the torch until you come around.”

Imagine how that would make your spouse feel. You’ve just turned a frustration into a blessing. That mindset shift is crucial for success—not just in marriage, but in life.

Your goals will continue to move toward you as you show compassion and refuse to keep score.

Take responsibility.

The moment you start resenting what your spouse is or isn’t doing, you lose power. Instead of judging, be grateful—for their companionship, for the lessons you're learning, for the opportunity to grow.

Find the good.

Focus on your spouse’s strengths. Think and speak about the good, and the good will grow.

Some challenges take years to resolve. Some have taken us ten, even twenty years. What kept us going was a shared belief that we'd eventually figure it out.

Some days, I wasn’t so sure. Other days, I’m certain my husband wasn’t so sure. But there was always one of us believing. And if there was ever a time we both doubted, we didn't dwell on it—because failure was not an option.

Move forward with faith. If you're struggling now, count it as a blessing (Law of Polarity), and look for the hidden benefit in the challenge.

"Never let a problem to be solved" [or a goal to be achieved] "become more important than a person to be loved."
—Thomas S. Monson

Marriage is not 50/50.

You don’t divvy up responsibilities and then critique each other's performance.

It’s 100/100—or even 110/110.

Do what you can do, even if that means shouldering extra weight. Even if it means carrying all the weight for a while.

Some days it may feel like 150/20. Maybe it feels that way most of the time. But if you really think about it, I bet you can remember at least one time when it was 10/130. We all take turns—even when it seems like those turns last for years.

Whatever the balance, how you feel about carrying more than your “fair share” can shape your future success. It may even determine how quickly things shift.

Shift your mindset.

If you resent the load, you rob yourself of the joy—and the potential prosperity—that’s waiting on the other side of the challenge.

Remember, the universe responds to the feelings you emit.

So, for now, try feeling grateful that you can help today. What if, for some reason, you couldn't—even if you wanted to?

Things could always be worse (Law of Relativity).

So don’t keep score.

At some point, you will be the one who needs to be carried. Serve with joy. Sacrifice what is necessary now to make it work, and you’ll both reap the rewards soon enough.

Nag not. Be patient. Allow your spouse to grow at their own pace.

Yes, that may delay the prize. But you may find that the prize—without your relationship intact—isn’t much of a prize at all.

And if your spouse isn’t on board with what you’re learning?

You can still prosper. You can still succeed.

Trust in God's ability to show you how to achieve your dreams without compromising your values—even if you’re the only one who believes in them.

As Wendell Phillips said:

"One, on God's side, is a majority."

Related: What if My Spouse Doesn't Think Positive?

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