By Karilyn Barnett

Don’t React! Respond and Remain Calm with the Law of Relativity

The Law of Relativity simply states that nothing is good or bad, big or small, pretty or ugly… until you relate it to something else. For example, my house feels tiny compared to a mansion—or—my house feels like a mansion compared to a hut. It’s all relative!

The truth is, any situation, thought, or event is neither good nor bad—it just is. The meaning we give it comes from how we choose to interpret it. And that interpretation determines whether we react or respond.

There’s a big difference between the two.

A reaction is immediate and emotional. It happens without pause and usually spirals into negativity.
A response takes a moment of thought. It allows space for awareness and calm, leading to a much more positive outcome—even if the situation itself hasn’t changed.

Let’s take a look at a few common scenarios:

• The washing machine overflows.

• You forget to pay your credit card bill.

• You miss a connecting flight on the way to a job interview because of bad weather.

These are the kinds of things that can easily derail your whole day—if you let them.

Here’s how Person A might REACT:

• “Ugh! The washing machine overflowed. This is going to cost a fortune to fix the floor! Where am I going to get the money? I’m broke!”

• “I can’t believe I was so stupid and missed the credit card payment. Now I have a $50 late fee!”

• “Of course I missed my flight. I’m stuck. I’m going to miss the interview, and they’ll definitely give the job to someone else. They probably weren’t interested in me anyway.”

Now, here’s how Person B might RESPOND:

• “That was a mess, but I caught it quickly. Maybe some of the flooring needs replacing, but it could’ve been a whole lot worse.”

• “I dropped the ball this time, but I’ll call the credit card company and explain. They may waive the fee, and at the very least, they’ll know it was a one-time mistake.”

• “I’ll call the company and let them know the delay was weather-related. I’m confident they’ll understand. In the meantime, I can use this extra time to prep even more for the interview.”

See the difference?

We don’t always get to choose the circumstances, but we do get to choose how we process and move through them. That choice—to react or to respond—can change everything. But it takes practice.

I had the perfect opportunity to practice this recently.

A couple of months ago, my husband and I became landlords for the first time. Definitely a little nerve-wracking! In just the second month, the tenant’s rent check bounced. My initial reaction? “Oh no. This is bad. What did we get ourselves into? They’re going to be terrible tenants. They’re going to trash the house!”

But thankfully, I had been thinking about the Law of Relativity just days earlier, and it gave me the pause I needed.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself: Calm down. This situation is not good or bad—it just is. I get to choose what meaning I give it.

Instead of jumping to conclusions or acting out of fear, I decided to respond. I called the tenant and kept my tone calm. She was mortified. She apologized repeatedly and promised to look into it. I didn’t worry or stress—I just believed it would all work out.

And it did. A few days later she called back and explained it was a glitch with her bank. Everything was resolved.

I’m so glad I chose to respond instead of react.

So the next time life throws you a curveball, remember:

• The situation is not good or bad—it just is… until you relate it to something else.

• You always have a choice: react or respond.

• Responding takes practice, but the peace and power it brings is worth it.

With this mindset—and a little awareness—you can navigate life with greater calm, resilience, and control.

You've got this!

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